I've lost alot this year, grief seems to be a primordial theme for me. my best friend passed away, a heart attack, it was sudden, as sudden as the scream that escaped me when I heard the news. everything after that was slow, the grief, the longing, the emptiness, the loneliness, and then months barreling over each other I found myself loosing my next best friend, a version of me emerged finally sober enough to see they were never truly a real friend to begin with.